Look Ma - I can Fly, I can Fly, I can Fly....



             As the Rotor turns we find Jeb pondering the concept of navels, bright city lights, origin of species, webmasters, promotion boards, things that go bump on the ramp, and...

(What? Still no sound card in your machine...)



Duke Nukem's got nothing on me


             Even as a small child, Peri was destined to excel beyond his years. Pictured above, he executes the correct emergency procedure to vacate the command and staff meeting in a timely manner - just as a OH-6 helicopter arrives (lower right hand corner).


             Jeb continued to sit there thinking about things. "I wonder how fast a M198 would fall if dropped from this height." "If a tree fell in the forest..." "If a train left New York and nobody was on it - would it still head east?"


Overwhelmed, Jeb decided to try and concentrate.

Concentrate, concentrate, concentrate...

Visions of sugarplums kept dancing in his head.

Hey, how come I got passed over...



CW2 Dave Snow.


             Instructor Pilot, CW2 Dave Snow, in a bold one man maneuver, demonstrates the proper procedure to pass and instrument check ride without the exchange of foreign currency.



             OL' Jeb was suddenly reminded of his youthful childhood days. Skipping rocks across the pond, playing with marbles - He stopped and pondered "Hey, where did all my marbles go anyway...

             The Earth is round - looks like a big blue marble from up here.

             If the Earth didn't have gravity, that 198 would have never fallen. Must not have been my fault after all. Mother Nature just SUCKED it right off the bottom of my helicopter and it fell straight down into the ground.

I swear it's true, he told himself.

              Luckily, they issued a Saftey of Flight showing the cargo hooks can really open all by themselves. It wasn't Jeb's fault after all. That apology sure was nice.



I am Judd Man!


             Following in his leaders footsteps, Mike Judd, Sergeant First Class, Production Control NCOIC, also known as " THE SHREDDER ", attempts to reposition himself as a world power, and simultaneously raise the operational readiness rate by destroying any evidence to the contrary.



             Like a spun PC link bearing rolling around inside an empty Folgers one pound coffee can, Jeb's eyes darted around the dashboard. Something was wrong (not that he really cared, but...).

             Systems check: Yep, got two of 'em. Transmissions, installed. Torque: Hmmm, what is torque anyway? Torque is like the Saturday morning after an all night beer party... Awww, what the heck - if something goes wrong I've already figured out that gravity thing and nobody will blame it on me anyway.

Visions of sugarplums danced in his head.



Nice Haircut Dude!


             Conducted entirely in total secrecy, development of a new and modern personal transport system was undertaken. In a dark back office corner, deep within the hidden recesses Hangar P3962, supplemental lift generating devices were installed on this guinea pig, as seen in the classified photo above. Looks sort of similar to those Dumbo wore in an old Disney movie.

             Unfortunately, the devices did not function as planned...



             Like the Chain of Command, things weren't functioning too well for Jeb either.

             Somebody up here is brain dead, he thought to himself.

             Jeb was always thinking to himself. He learned long ago not to think out loud. At least not if anyone else could hear him. Up here at least, with the engines running, and the blades turning - no one could hear him think. At least so he thought.

             His mind drifted, like most during Command and Staff meetings. Once again he found himself thinking about that train leaving New York. It was heading East for sure. Imagine that: A train heading east from Long Island and he could have been on it.

He missed it.

             Had he been on time, just this once, he could have road that train.

             Back to the systems check, hmmmm - what was it Judd Man was trying to explain this morning about the fault on this aircraft....



The numbers just don't add up...


             Not one to be caught off guard, Mikey always stood ready to explain what exactly was happening in the Maintenance Arena. Writing it down on the chalkboard sometimes seemed to help, especially if there was nobody around to read it. He learned that from some guy named Kevin. Pictured above, Mike is trying to figure it all out...

             Hmmm, 16 assigned, 12 broken, 4 day weekend, - uh, how many are flyable. Damn, why didn't I pay attention in that high school math class. Wait a minute - 12 plus 4 does equal 16!

Whoops, 5 o'clock....



             Geez, look at the time Jeb said (although no one heard it, not even Jeb).

             That tiny little hand just keeps going round and round - it goes full circle, like the lessons we learn every time we go to the field.

             Just like my ex-wife, the big hand hardly moves at all.

Airplane goes up, airplane goes down.

Airplane goes up, airplane goes down.

Airplane goes up, airplane goes down.

Airplane goes up, airplane goes down.



OK Mike, so you're the new AMO...


             Of course, the former First Sergeant thoroughly understood Mikey's explanation. Although it was widely rumored that he became seriously ill shortly after listening to it.



Cluck, Cluck, Cluck, Cluck, Cluck, Cluck


             When asked by the Company SIP " Why do helicopters fly ? ", William Hogans, the III (1/2), immediately began flapping one arm violently in the air (as seen above) and clucking like a chicken. As to what this meant, many were unsure. However, all personnel in the room quietly left for the four day 4th of July weekend. Upon returning the following Tuesday morning, the good Captain was found curled up in the fetal position, near the water cooler, muttering " I can't take off, I can't take off, I can't take off..."


             Later that day, he was assigned as the Brigade HHC Company Commander, and all reports indicate that he is doing just fine...





Look Ma - I can Fly, I can Fly, I can Fly....


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